Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
