I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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