So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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