His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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