i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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