My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
