that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
