I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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