billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
