Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drake has all the answers
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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