why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
