Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
