I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
