I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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