seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
