I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
