I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
