Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
