So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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