reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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