Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
