worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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