do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
