Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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