absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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