rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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