I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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