i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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