i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
