he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
