why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
