It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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