I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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