I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
