Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
