batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
