My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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