I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
