So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
