Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
