It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
