It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
