I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
