the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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