Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
