Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart

(281): View more from Texas

What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?

(660): View more from Missouri

Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni

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(714): View more from California

i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock

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(425): View more from Washington

all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok

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(410): View more from Maryland

it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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(941): View more from Florida

Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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(630): View more from Illinois

SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME

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