Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
