Already got asked if we're dating
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
