yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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