I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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